Difficult conversations, a dying art.

Difficult, challenging conversations are the centrepiece of an effective team, an effective relationship, an effective organisation- and yet time after time we avoid having them.

Nothing can nor should replace this essential human interaction.

Organisationally: behaviour management; team effectiveness; performance review; visioning and forward planning are some of the essential areas where difficult conversations are required.

In our personal relationships: connectedness, boundaries and harmony to identify a few, all require the same internal reflection and challenging conversations.

There is a skill in managing those conversations, dealing with emotion, conflict or false perception is not always straight forward, but a carried, unresolved issue sits with us and can over a period of time skew our thought process and behaviour.

Ask yourself.
1) What part do I play in this? Reflect on your involvement and responsibility.
2) Express the concern/ issue in a balanced way.
3) Allow the other person the opportunity to have their say (listen).
4) Develop a solution together (this can also be agree to disagree).

Practice makes perfect, so next time there is a difficult conversation to be had, have it and if you are not sure where to start, talk it through with someone first.

Please help to save the difficult conversation, it is worth it.

Comments

Kindness, a simple word with a powerful reach

When was the last time you were intentionally or unintentionally kind to someone else? Is there a 'type' of kindness you demonstrate regularly? To a particular type of person. Is it time to expand your repertoire? Kindness is contagious, essential for genuine human interactions and good for both parties. 'Random Acts of Kindness Org' posit being kind is linked to a decrease in stress, anxiety, depression and even blood pressure (see there website below). So not only does it help someone else but it is also good for us. So if you are up for a challenge you could try embedding the practice of kindness into your everyday. There are many resources for home, schools and businesses in the links below. And don't forget to be kind to yourself! https://kindness.org/ https://www.randomactsofkindness.org/

The value of time

I was asked this morning, what I would be getting my children for the 'silly season.' The truth of the matter is that I hadn't given it too much thought, mainly because it's still November but also because I don't want to think about it. My reticence is born partly of a desire not to buy into the commerciality of the process, of adding to the volume of 'stuff' in our lives but also because I again find myself borrowing from the 'Victorian' school of parenting and am running the gauntlet of judging and judgement. Presents are great, I love a good well thought out present as much as the next person. I am not proposing we should all turn into the Grinch or Scrooge and move away from all things gift like. But for a moment let's acknowledge the world has moved on, and while in the 1940's 50's and 60's a gift of chocolate or a toy was a novelty for children, in 2016 those things are readily available and our children are arguably ex...

Challenging our routines

All of us have them, but how often do we challenge their usefulness? Routines allow us to do things quickly and efficiently, make us feel comfortable with our environment and existence and generally take us through life, but what happens when a routine becomes a barrier to change? We allow our habits and routines to prevent us from making a different choice, from trying something new, from changing, from losing weight, from exercising more, from (fill in your own blank here). So as Spring approaches (Autumn in the Northern hemisphere) it is time to clean out those habits- or at least challenge them and to think through your routine and decide which bits are helpful and which are not. I will be swapping my habitual pre work coffee in front of the computer for 10 mins of meditation. Although the coffee is lovely I don't need that extra 10 mins in front of the computer- the jobs will still get done, and I don't seem to be able to find the time to meditate, and 10mins ...

From Clutter to Clarity

Search This Blog