Difficult conversations, a dying art.

Difficult, challenging conversations are the centrepiece of an effective team, an effective relationship, an effective organisation- and yet time after time we avoid having them.

Nothing can nor should replace this essential human interaction.

Organisationally: behaviour management; team effectiveness; performance review; visioning and forward planning are some of the essential areas where difficult conversations are required.

In our personal relationships: connectedness, boundaries and harmony to identify a few, all require the same internal reflection and challenging conversations.

There is a skill in managing those conversations, dealing with emotion, conflict or false perception is not always straight forward, but a carried, unresolved issue sits with us and can over a period of time skew our thought process and behaviour.

Ask yourself.
1) What part do I play in this? Reflect on your involvement and responsibility.
2) Express the concern/ issue in a balanced way.
3) Allow the other person the opportunity to have their say (listen).
4) Develop a solution together (this can also be agree to disagree).

Practice makes perfect, so next time there is a difficult conversation to be had, have it and if you are not sure where to start, talk it through with someone first.

Please help to save the difficult conversation, it is worth it.

Comments

The here and now, living in it

I am currently reading a book about presence... being present in the here and now and transcending our physical being into our spiritual being through retreats and other such malarky! What a waste of paper, I feel guilty about the tree which created this book! Unfortunately (or fortunately) most of us cannot afford the time and or cash to head out on a month long retreat to find our inner selves and to be honest the experience may fill our souls with wonder but it is short lived when we return to our here and now and our general lives. It is more important to find 'presence' in our existing lives, our realities rather than head off into the ether to discover it. If you suffer from living in the future, constantly striving, making no time for yourself in the now, please consider the following time effective but real ways to wake up to the now. Sit for 2 mins and focus on your breathing or your heart rate- nothing else- and if thoughts come into your head tell them yo...

What 10 things do you do well?

We are generally very good at knowing what we need to do better but very very bad at being able to say we do something well. "I should do more exercise." "I could communicate more." "I need to get better at time management." "I should work on my presentation skills." "I need/ should (add your own in here!!!) It is time to put a different perspective on it. After all you didn't get to the ripe old age of (add here whatever age you feel like being), without managing to do some things well, the tricky part is being able to articulate what they are. So grab that coffee, find somewhere quiet and write down/think of 10 things you do well, just 10. Oh and fight the temptation to be glib, so 'I am good at being on facebook' doesn't count, but 'I am good at keeping in touch with people' does! The reality is that remembering and stating what we are good at is much harder than it sounds. We spend most of our time in the ...

A well worn path

My challenge for the here and now is to take note of 3 things as you go about your day to day activities. Things you see everyday but pay no attention to: a beautiful set of stairs travelled up and down by generations of people all set about their own day to day; a century old tree who has cast shade on your route for decades; or a children's book which sits on the bookcase now collecting dust and when you notice them think about the value they give/ have given to you. It is incredible to think that in each day we follow the same path, be that on foot, in the car or through habit but often fail to appreciate the very things that make the path smoother. For those of you who like an even greater challenge pick a significant person and notice some of the 'overlooked' traits they possess, think about how those traits positively impact on your journey and if you are feeling really brave you could even tell them. Go on, it won't hurt that much.

From Clutter to Clarity

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