From Clutter to Clarity

Being curious is one of the most effective ways for us to engage with other human beings as well as the world. Curiosity opens up a world of opportunities, it allows us to explore something physical or intellectual in new and novel ways, and discover new, interesting and innovative ways of doing things. Curiosity can engage all or any one of our senses. Curiosity allows us to listen to another person without judging them and to consider another point of view. It allows us to use our ears twice as much as our mouths and therefore to learn more about the world we are in than we already know about it. Without curiosity our world would be a very dull place. And yet, we rarely adopt a stance of curiosity preferring to share with the world our existing knowledge, our existing views, use our existing familiar perimeter. This may seem scary but not quite so scary as not letting allowing curiosity, especially for children.  Letting them find and discover on their own, in the d...

After some feedback re my 'real conversation' blog I have decided to issue a further communication challenge to anyone reading this. It again relies on a rapidly declining skill and challenges us to put ourselves out there a little more than an email or text message. It doesn't allow us to hide behind abbreviations or symbols, it is an 'old fashioned' letter. And the purpose of the letter, this time, is to tell someone something about what they mean to you or have done for you. Letters were once the only means of distant communication and were frequently kept and reread as a source of comfort and joy, so whether you chose to pen a thank you note, a love letter, or an outline of what someone means to you, know that you are taking a huge step further than sending a text message or email. Letters have a physicality to them, a handwritten letter the added dimension that time, thought and effort has gone into it, no cutting and pasting available and if the lette...

An article in our local rag interested me this morning. It was about a UN study which argues that we are giving our children too many toys to compensate for not spending time with them, because 'we are too busy.' The most disturbing part about it, was that the children when asked what they wanted most, replied 'more family time.' Our children it would appear 'get' it while we adults appear to have 'lost the plot' at least that is what the article suggested. And as always when I read something interesting, I start applying it to my world and that of my coachees, so out of interest what do we think about the following questions. 1) How many 'toys' (and not just children's toys here) do you have in your home now compared to the home you grew up in, and did you as a child feel deprived? 2) How many 'activities' or 'adventures' have you been on in the last month? (don't include organised regular activities) 3) When y...

I am reading a particularly interesting book at the moment... Talent is Overrated by Geoff Colvin and although I am still to be convinced by some of the argument, the book did get me thinking about how we practice and what we practice. In particular I started thinking about a topic which has come up and awful lot this week, communication. Why is it that we usually wait until communication breaks down before we do something about it? But instead what if we decided to proactively practice our communication. So, I am going to pick a frequently discussed coaching topic "real conversations' v' 'talking' and challenge anyone out there who reads this to do the following exercise with their family, whatever it's shape, size and dynamic. Your challenge is to sit together in a room for more than 30 mins and have a 'real' conversation, that is a conversation where you learn something about someone else in the room, about what they think or believe. A...

All of us have them, but how often do we challenge their usefulness?  Routines allow us to do things quickly and efficiently, make us feel comfortable with our environment and existence and generally take us through life, but what happens when a routine becomes a barrier to change? We allow our habits and routines to prevent us from making a different choice, from trying something new, from changing, from losing weight, from exercising more, from (fill in your own blank here). So as Spring approaches (Autumn in the Northern hemisphere) it is time to clean out those habits- or at least challenge them and to think through your routine and decide which bits are helpful and which are not. I will be swapping my habitual pre work coffee in front of the computer for 10 mins of meditation. Although the coffee is lovely I don't need that extra 10 mins in front of the computer- the jobs will still get done, and I don't seem to be able to find the time to meditate, and 10mins ...

What does success look like for you? Is it attached to a career? A job role (label) or position? Is it an amount of income generated or is it more? In our very hierarchical workplaces (very few are truly flattened) success is often tied into the job we do, and the higher up the ladder we go the more 'successful' we are apparently. However I pose you this question, when someone is giving your Eulogy what do you want them to say about you. That you achieved a particular position at work or that you had a successful whole life? A few people who come to see me are at a stage in their lives where the external work generated view of success is not enough for them. They have either stopped getting fulfilment from it or are disappointed with the reality of the top of the ladder and want to explore a far wider view of success, a more balanced reality. And as I tell them the good news is that YOU get to define what success is in your life, because it is just that, YOUR life. If ...

While I was watching this rather cute woofter enjoying basking in the winter sun I got to thinking a little. What is my equivalent of 'a dog's life.' What is the ultimate simple pleasure and enjoyment? Making the first fresh steps in snow (not that I get to do that very often anymore!!)  The smell of coffee first thing in the morning? Reading the paper in the middle of the day with a cup of tea? Fresh brewed tea using leaves and a proper teapot? Hearing the rain on the roof? Walking in the early morning while the sun is coming up? Anyway, what is your simple pleasure. Let me know. I would like to know what simple things we can do every day and acknowledge them as a precious moment. Maybe with enough of them we can fill a whole week with pleasure.