Frustration expresses itself in lots of different ways at work and at home.... disengagement, anger at a situation, avoidance or yelling are some of the more common ones....
For Marcie from www.funkyunderachiever.blogspot.com yelling at the children... is her thing.... Now as I promised to coach her in return for her lovely award...here goes... so Marcie..... with frustration there are some key steps...
1) Identify the frustration and decide to do something about it... Marcie is trying to reduce the yelling... but does she really WANT to do something about it??? Yelling gives her an emotional release and is by far and away the easy thing to do because to not yell means she has to deal with the source of the frustration....
2) What is causing the frustration.... time pressures, feeling under-appreciated, perceived lack of understanding of the importance of the situation.... your view of the world and how people 'should' behave in it....
3) Take responsibility for your part in it.... you have the frustration, you control the emotion.... Are you setting unrealistic expectations, are you judging others by your own measure and is that fair to do....
4) Imagine what you would be like when the behaviour is changed.... and the frustration is gone.... what do you get from it?
5) Change your behaviour... break the habit!!!! At least try... and when you do it well, give yourself a virtual hug.....
So Marcie and anyone else who is feeling frustrated have a go at the steps above... if you have any questions about any of the steps give me a yell... and let me know how you get on...
Have fun.....
Answers to the conundrums:
ReplyDelete1 Yes
2 The world view one - I like that
3 I am trying!
4 Living on a tropical island sipping Pimms and lemonade
5 Onto it!
Thanks - I feel better - you know, this cyber coaching could really take off.
Thanks Marcie...
ReplyDeleteLook at your world view and decided if any of it is redundant....
Look at the battles and what triggers them.... and decide if the battle in the big scheme of things is worth it... or if other things are more important (like not shouting... which would you rather do.)
We can get very caught up in what should happen... but often we don't want it to... or it will sort itself out..
So look at the things that make you frustrated and ask... does this really matter... is it worth me shouting at the children for??? or is there another way???
Let me know how you go.... and we can do the next bit..