The here and now.... living in it

I am currently reading a book about presence... being present in the here and now and transcending our physical being into our spiritual being through retreats and other such malarky!!! What a waste of paper... I feel guilty about the tree which created this book!!!

Unfortunately (or fortunately) most of us cannot afford the time and or cash to head out on a month long retreat to find our inner selves and to be honest the experience may fill our souls with wonder but it is short lived when we return to our here and now and general lives.....

It is more important to find 'presence' in our existing lives.... our realities rather than head off into the ether to discover it...

If you suffer from living in the future, constantly striving... making no time for yourself in the now.... please consider the following time effective but real ways to wake up to the now....

• sit for 2 mins and focus on your breathing or your heart rate- nothing else- and if thoughts come into your head tell them you will deal with them in 2 mins...
• Go for a walk without head phones and actively look at the surroundings, the trees, houses, grass, listen to the noises, birds, traffic, feel the breeze as it passes over your skin
• sit and watch ants for 2 mins as they scurry about their day... imagine what it woudl be like being an ant
• every hour stand up from your desk and stretch up as tall as you can.... feel your fingers extend to the ceiling and ground your feet on the floor... if you want add a mantra (something like... I am most enjoying x y or z about today.... I feel x y or z at this moment in time- don't worry if you feel angry/ upset or disappointed.. these are real feelings and acknowledging them is important)

And for the really brave!!! 

Select a day where you don't have any plans and keep it completely free..... (no job list!!!)

When you wake up (naturally- no clocks) ask yourself what you feel like doing- and actually listen to what you say.... if it is nothing.... do nothing until you feel like doing something..... and when you have done that thing... ask yourself what you would like to do next....

Go on... try it.... what do you have to lose???? And as always let me know how you get on...

Curiosity didn't kill the cat.. it saved it

Being curious is one of the most effective ways for us to engage with other human beings as well as the world....

Curiosity opens up a world of opportunities, it allows us to explore something physical or intellectual in new and novel ways.. and discover new, interesting and innovative ways of doing things.

Curiosity can engage all or any one of our senses... 

Curiosity allows us to listen to another person without judging them and to consider another point of view... it allows us to use our ears twice as much as our mouths and therefore to learn more about the world we are in than we already know about it...

Without curiosity our world would be a very dull place....

And yet..... we rarely adopt a stance of curiosity.. preferring to share with the world our existing knowledge... our existing views... use our existing familiar perimeter... scary.... but not quite so scary as not letting our children explore the world with curiosity.... 

To find and discover on their own... in the dirt and mud... in trees and in gardens.... in questions and in doing..... allowing them to develop new and innovative ways of doing things

So the challenge this time is to adopt a stance of curiosity.... to say to someone... "that sounds interesting... tell me about it..."  or "really, how did that happen......?" or to be curious enough about something to see how it works....

And for those of us who are growing a new generation of humans... allow them to be curious this week... let them explore something unaided.... let them ask questions without being told to be quiet.....  let them find a new way of doing something routine... you know wearing your knickers on your head will not end the world!!!!

Curiosity is one of the most important skills we possess... let's practice it and encourage our children to learn using it... let me know how you and they get on... 

Old fashioned skills for the modern age

After some feedback re my 'real conversation' blog..... I have decided to issue a further communication challenge to anyone reading this.....

It again relies on a rapidly declining skill.... and challenges us to put ourselves out there a little more than an email or text message. It doesn't allow us to hide behind abbreviations or symbols... it is an 'old fashioned' letter..

And the purpose of the letter, this time, is to tell someone something about what they mean to you or have done for you....  Letters were once the only means of distant communication and were frequently kept and reread as a source of comfort and joy, so whether you chose to pen a thank you note, a love letter, or an outline of what someone means to you, know that you are taking a huge step further than sending a text message or email.

Letters have a physicality to them, a handwritten letter the added dimension that time, thought and effort has gone into it.... no cutting and pasting available.... and if the letter arrives in the post there is also the added excitement about receiving something interesting....


So .... where to begin..... if you are stuck.... then you could try the following starters.... remember there are no right or wrongs with a letter..... and once you begin you may find it quite difficult to stop....


Dear........

• I have decided to put pen to paper to let you know how much I appreciate you.......
• I thought that I would take some time to consider all that you have done for me over the past (x  amount of time) and drop you a line to let you know what that has meant to me....
• I find it very difficult to express myself verbally so thought I would write to a note to tell you how much you mean to me....

Enjoy writing the letter.... and let me know how you get on......

 

Too busy to create memories?

An article in our local rag interested me this morning.... it was about a UN study which argues that we are giving our children too many toys to compensate for not spending time with them, because 'we are too busy....'

The most disturbing part about it, was that the children when asked what they wanted most, replied 'more family time.' Our children it would appear 'get' it while we adults appear to have 'lost the plot'..... at least that is what the article suggested..

And as always when I read something interesting, I start applying it to my word and that of my coachees.... so..... just out of interest how about we have a think about the following quetsions.

1) How many 'toys' (and not just children's toys here) do you have in your home now compared to the home you grew up in, and did you as a child feel deprived?
2) How many 'activities' or 'adventures' have you been on in the last month? (don't include organised regular activities)
3) When you were growing up what did you enjoy doing the most- what are your favourite memories? (Did they involve an object... ie a toy or a free activity or adventure?)
4) What would you like your children/ families memories to be about 2011?
5) Are you making that happen?

If like the 5 other people I have asked this morning your answers were... 1) a lot more, no,To  2) not very many, 3) picnics, park, beach, bike rides etc.... all adventure based, 4) like the ones I had, 5) Mmmmmm not really...

Then..... do something about it... the weekend is not very far away.... how about asking your children/ family members to create a memory with you..... 

Have fun......

practice makes perfect with communication too....

I am reading a particularly interesting book at the moment...
Talent is Overrated by Geoff Colvin.. and although I am still to be convinced by some of the argument the book did get me thinking about how we practice and what we practice...

In particular I started thinking about a topic which has come up and awful lot this week.... communication..... we usually wait until communication breaks down before we do something about it.. but what if we decided to proactively practice our communication....

So .... I am going to pick a frequently discussed coaching topic... "real conversations' v' 'talking' and challenge anyone out there who reads this to do the following exercise with their family, whatever it's shape and size, function or disfunction.....

Your challenge is to sit together in a room for more than 30 mins and have a 'real' conversation.. that is a conversation where you learn something about someone else in the room... about what they think or believe...

And here are the rules......
1) the topic must be general.... not related to an individual in the room- so no school, work, or activities based conversation
2) it must not involve planning something (eg:- a holiday) or logistics
3) the participants must all be involved... so no 'I have no idea or I do not have an opinion'
4) it needs to be a topic big enough/ novel enough to learn something new
5) Everybody has a right to be heard and a right for judgement to be suspended on their ideas

Some topic ideas.... 

• Do people engage in enough face to face conversations?
• What is the most important lesson from the past we as a society are failing to listen to and which one do we do well?
• What does being a refugee mean, and what circumstances would force you to be a refugee?
• Do we really have freedom of speech?
• What is democracy and what does that mean for us on a daily basis?
• If your family was running the country what would you do differently and what the same?
• Or another of your choice.....

Controversial and real??? Have fun practicing a real conversation and I would be very interested to know how you got on...

Challenging routines

All of us have them.... but how often do we challenge their usefulness?

 Routines allow us to do things quickly and efficiently, make us feel comfortable with our environment and existence and generally take us through life...... but what happens when a routine becomes a barrier to change??

We allow our habits and routines to prevent us from making a different choice, from trying something new, from changing, from losing weight, from exercising more, from...... (fill in your own blank here).

So as Spring approaches (Autumn in the Northern hemisphere) it is time to clean out those habits- or at least challenge them... think through your routine and decide which bits are helpful and which are not....

I will be swapping my habitual pre work coffee in front of the computer for 10 mins of meditation. Although the coffee is lovely I don't need that extra 10 mins in front of the computer- the jobs will still get done, and I don't seem to be able to find the time to meditate, and 10mins is better than 0mins...... 

What will you change?
Let me know.....

Success... what is it and how do we get it?

What does success look like for you? Is it attached to a career? A job role (label) or position? Is it an amount of income generated or is it more???

In our very hierarchical workplaces (very few are truely flattened) success is often tied into the job we do, and the higher up the ladder we go the more 'successful' we are...... apparently.....

However I pose you this question, when someone is giving your Eulogy what do you want them to say about you. That you achieved a particular position at work or that you had a successful whole life?

A few people who come to see me are at a stage in their lives where the external work generated view of success is not enough for them. They have either stopped getting fulfilment from it or are disappointed with the reality of the top of the ladder and want to explore a far wider view of success, a more balanced reality...

And as I tell them the good news is that YOU get to define what success is in your life... because it is just that YOUR life. If success looks different to you then embrace that difference, but you have to believe that it compares equally, fulfilment comes in all sorts of different shapes and sizes, but awareness of what fulfilment is for you is the starting point....

So if you decide to stay at home to raise your children for a period of time, or for always.... and that is your idea of a successful/ fulfilled life then please please please don't label yourself "just a mum" or "just a dad." It is anything other than 'just' it is what fulfils you and should be labelled accordingly.

Success in life looks different for everyone... what does success look like for you... if you want to know more about how to work out what your fulfilled life looks like drop me a line?

It's a dog's life....

While I was watching this rather cute woofter enjoying basking in the winter sun I got to thinking a little....

What is my equivalent of 'a dog's life.' What is the ultimate simple pleasure and enjoyment?????

Making the first fresh steps in snow (not that I get to do that very often anymore!!) 

The smell of coffee first thing in the morning...?

Reading the paper in the middle of the day with a cup of tea....?

Fresh brewed tea using leaves and a proper teapot!!?

Hearing the rain on the roof...?

Walking in the early morning while the sun is coming up????

Anyway.... what is your simple pleasure.... let me know.... I would like to know what simple things we can do every day and acknowledge them as a precious moment....

Maybe with enough of them we can fill a whole week with pleasure...

Being in the moment....

For most of us non Yogi like individuals 'being in the moment' is very tricky....

We can maybe stop doing physical stuff .. but the physical bit is much much easier than switching the brain off..... how do we stop those lists being drawn up constantly and the constant... 'oh I must remember to'... or 'wouldn't it be great to' .......

It takes focus and practice... lots of practice.... but the good news is that the focus part is the same sort of focus we use when we have a deadline and manage to block everything out apart from the thing we are doing!!! So all of us can do it!!!


So take that focus.... and focus on something around you now.... and really look at it.... what do you notice?

(If you are really stuck look at a tree!!! how many different colours are in the foliage... how many different shades of green, how do the branches connect....)

Focus entirely on the thing happening around you and see how long you can keep that up before something pops into your head.... and then do it again!!!!

Being in the moment is about a mental awareness of what is going on with us and those around us... our focus is in the present, not in the future or the past..... it takes lots of practice and we can all get better at it... and it is worth it...

And once you have mastered objects, move on and look at people, and emotions internally and externally... 


Living the life we have moment by moment in the present is the greatest gift we can give ourselves and those around us... so give yourself a treat... go on your deserve it!

all work and no play.....

So let me ask you a question... when was the last time you brought work home with you......?????

It would appear from the MANY conversations I have regarding this, that most of us, take work home some of the time, and lots of us take work home most of the time..... and to what end???

Does it make the volume of work get smaller???? Does it allow you to exist in a stress free environment??? No????? in fact it usually has the opposite effect...

We seem to have an inability to accept that for most jobs the work never gets finished.... the in-tray is never empty... that enough is enough...

It is time to make a stand against ourselves, taking work home habitually is not good for us, our relationships or our families... so.... our challenge is....


to not take work home for a week..... and observe if anything really changed at work in terms of our function, did the in-tray get soooo much bigger, or did we actually start managing our time or our boundaries (that would be the No word!!)... 

and on the flip side what did we get to do at home???
There is a job there too- playing, relaxing and enjoying ourselves...


And as an aside... our primary aged children should not be bringing work home with them.... they 'work' at school for 30 hrs... home should be a place where they get to play, and explore being a child.... look what homework did to us..... created a really, really bad unhealthy habit and it is time to stop it...!!

 

Coaching and stuff.... hitting your head against a wall...

Ever felt like you were hitting your head against a brick wall???

Frustration expresses itself in lots of different ways at work and at home.... disengagement, anger at a situation, avoidance or yelling are some of the more common ones....

For Marcie from www.funkyunderachiever.blogspot.com yelling at the children... is her thing.... Now as I promised to coach her in return for her lovely award...here goes... so Marcie..... with frustration there are some key steps...


1) Identify the frustration and decide to do something about it... Marcie is trying to reduce the yelling... but does she really WANT to do something about it???  Yelling gives her an emotional release and is by far and away the easy thing to do because to not yell means she has to deal with the source of the frustration....


2) What is causing the frustration.... time pressures, feeling under-appreciated, perceived lack of understanding of the importance of the situation.... your view of the world and how people 'should' behave in it....


3) Take responsibility for your part in it.... you have the frustration, you control the emotion.... Are you setting unrealistic expectations, are you judging others by your own measure and is that fair to do.... 

4) Imagine what you would be like when the behaviour is changed.... and the frustration is gone.... what do you get from it?


5) Change your behaviour... break the habit!!!! At least try... and when you do it well, give yourself a virtual hug.....


So Marcie and anyone else who is feeling frustrated have a go at the steps above... if you have any questions about any of the steps give me a yell... and let me know how you get on...


Have fun.....

Blogging award!!!

Slight change to plan, not my usual style post.... and all because someone lovely sent me a blogging award.... 

The Versatile Blogger.....  not quite an Oscar.... but the new blogger equivalent (or at least that is what I am telling myself!)

and I am very excited as it may help in my quest to find 100 people who "get" my approach to coaching during 2011 and follow me, so just ordinary normal people going about their lives wanting to make a slight change here and there.... and need a place to discover what that change might be.


Drum roll please....... drrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.... a huge thanks you to the lovely Marcie of the most amazing www.funkyunderachiever.blogspot.com 

Marcie is hilariously funny and trying to do what most of us are... make some changes.... and strangely enough that is what I do!! So coming soon will be a coaching Marcie blog from me as a thank you for this lovely award.... Watch out Marcie...

I also now have to tell you 7 things about me (part of the award thing)
1) I love people watching (not procrastinating honest!!)
2) Coffee is an essential item of my day
3) Getting outside preferably with exercise...is an essential part of my day
4) I think children should be allowed to be children more than they are
5) One of my wishes would be that we as people in our society got better at empathy....we seem to have lost that somewhere along the way
6) I get angry when people in cars only think about themselves....
7) I think we need to do more incidental exercise.... get off our butts and walk more places


And I really enjoy what coaching does for people.... let me know if you get a buzz/ some success out of any of the posts!!!!


Thanks again Marcie.... catch you soon.......

I also need to add some more new people here..... but need to do some searching first so it will have to be another day!!

Breaking out of the 'should' prison....

It is really easy to create a list of things that we 'should' do..... in fact most of us will have one to hand instantly... and right now might even be feeling guilty about not doing something on the 'should' list...

I should go for a run....
I should just tidy the.....
I should keep in touch better.....
etc etc

It is great that you can see how a change can make a difference to your life and that you in fact have thought about a change....

but.... how much of that change is something that you own? How many of the things on your 'should' list do you actually 'want' to do?

We are constantly bombarded with expectations, our own, our friends and family, workplace, and societal expectations.... but we rarely effectively filter them and this creates our 'should' list and can lead to a sense of 

• not having enough time to do everything we think we should
• guilt that things are not getting done
• not being good enough
• not keeping up with everyone else who in our mind does everything on the should list

Frequently it can be as simple as changing the filter from 'should' to 'want'........

So ask yourself out of the 'should' list at the moment... what do you actually want to do and question the validity of the request??? 

Here is an example of part of a coaching conversation which happens frequently.....


Coachee...... "I should run more......  
Me..... "Why do you want to run?   .... 
Coachee.... "For exercise and because it is good for me"
Me..... "But do you want to go for a run"
Coachee.... "No, I hate running."
Me.. "Then what exercise would you rather do instead?"
Coachee.... "Walking, I quite like walking"...
Me... "So walk."


So go on.... try it with your should list....

• Pick something you 'should' do
• Ask yourself what the purported benefit to you is- health, fitness, friendship, enjoyment...
• Ask yourself if you value that benefit- do you actually want to do it?
• Make it an achievable thing that you enjoy....
• And enjoy doing it!!!!!

Now I am off to do something I really want to do...... enjoy doing something you really want to too....

Plugged in or plugged out???

Scott a friend/ colleague of mine asked me to give him feedback on his nascent blog... and in doing so one of his articles touched a cord with me regarding the choices we make to be engaged or to avoid being engaged. 

That article, about the use of earphones/music while exercising speaks to his purpose for coaching and demonstrates absolutely his expertise and the passion for what he does..... but the element that struck a cord most for me and my experience with working with people is 'what are you avoiding when plugged in,' or why are you plugging out?

When we chose to plug in our ear phones and listen to music... are we actively seeking to hear music or are we seeking to be plugged-out? To get some 'space,' some 'time out?' To avoid making conversation, to avoid feelings of discomfort or loneliness.


If you are plugging-in because at that moment in time you want to listen to music and enjoy the emotional journey music takes you on then go for it... enjoy the moment.


However, if what you are doing is plugging-out, then you are avoiding something, falsely creating a space or pleasure or disengaging with your reality, with your here and now. And in plugging-out you risk not dealing with or engaging with your real world or the real people in it.


So... if you are plugging out, ask yourself why? Are you avoiding something or someone? Are you avoiding pain, discomfort, loneliness? Are you trying to create space or time out? Or are you just doing what the majority of people you observe are doing and want to simply fit in- (are you being a sheep)?

And once you identify why you are plugging-out decide what you want to do about it, and maybe chose to be totally unplugged a little more often.

After all our own everyday reality is actually hard to beat when we know how to live in it and chose to be engaged with it.....

For more information about Scott or his article go to.....

http://whatspossible.com.au/bodymind/how-a-10-year-old-girl-made-my-heart-sink-trying-to-do-the-right-thing/



 

Time for something new?

Trying something new is always a bit of a challenge.... but one which can bring us whole new avenues to explore...

When was the last time you tried something new? Or do you follow the same pattern week after week, even year after year? 

A new topic of conversation, a new restaurant, a new type of food, a new author, a new hobby, a new....... (fill in the blanks).

Without newness we run the potential to become stuck in a rut, doing the same things we have always done, which were fun once, but have now become habit. And habits are not necessarily good for us. So check out your routine and ask yourself if you would like to make a little change to it...

And if you do... think about something you haven't tried before, read/ search out what is available in your local area, and then go and do it... 

...you never know it could be the start of something amazing!!!! 

Difficult conversations.. a dying art

Difficult, challenging conversations are the centrepiece of an effective team, an effective relationship, an effective organisation- and yet time after time we avoid having them.


Nothing can nor should replace this essential human interaction.

Organisationally: behaviour management; team effectiveness; performance review; visioning and forward planning are some of the essential areas where difficult conversations are required. 

In our personal relationships: connectedness, boundaries and harmony to identify a few, all require the same internal reflection and challenging conversations.


There is a skill in managing those conversations, dealing with emotion, conflict or false perception is not always straight forward, but ... a carried, unresolved issue sits with us and can over a period of time skew our thought process and behaviour.

Ask yourself. 
1) What part do I play in this, reflect on your involvement and responsibility
2) Express the concern/ issue in a balanced way
3) Allow the other person the opportunity to have their say... (listen)
4) Develop a solution together.. (this can also be agree to disagree)

Practice makes perfect... so next time there is a difficult conversation to be had, have it.. and if you are not sure where to start, talk it through with someone first.... 

Please help to save the difficult conversation.... it is worth it... 

 

Slow down.... even if it is just a little...

Ever wish you could spend just a bit more time doing something but don't feel as though you can? Do you dash from place to place, activity to activity in a whirlwind of logistics and planning?

We are increasingly running to stand still, grabbing lunch, breakfast, dinner and coffee on the go. Multi-taskers extraordinaire, we squeeze in an extra activity or an extra 'job' seemingly effortlessly and then plan our recreation time so it resembles  a complex military operation (especially if we have children). 

There is a rapidly spreading movement calling for us to slow down. The 'Slow Movement' as they are aptly titled are calling for us to engage in our NOW and to do it at a pace we can appreciate.... slowly.

However that is easier said than done. We feel compelled to keep up, to keep moving and evolving..... and have become adept at filling in our schedule, some of us may even claim to enjoy being so busy, or not know how to slow down......

But if we do want to slow down, even if it is a little then you might like to try this....

1) Pick one thing you would like to spend longer doing. A family dinner, a walk on the beach, coffee with a friend, reading a book etc...
2) Make it a priority, so in your mind give it importance
3) Physically or mentally book time for it, and remember to allow longer
4) Remove the obstacles- make sure you are not going to be needed elsewhere or say no
5) Do it... and enjoy it...
6) Manage yourself, don't think what else you could be doing while you are practicing slowing down...


Practice.... practice... practice

After all some things are better experienced slowly....

Busy being busy?

I'm not sure if you have noticed but everyone is busy... or at least they tell us they are busy.... 

"Good thanks" has been superseded by "Oh you know... busy," as the standard response to "How are you?"

But is it really the case... are people really as busy as they think, or have we just filled our day up with stuff.... which we could survive without doing...

When was the last time you did a spring clean... not of your belongings but of your time habits???

The last time I checked in with my time habits, I managed to save about 5hrs a week, in things I had just fallen into doing since the last time I checked... 

A TV show that I sat and watched, which I really didn't enjoy, and which was rubbish. 
Checking and responding to emails as they come in rather than in a block.
Social networking with people I am not likely to ever have a real conversation with.
Sending 5 text messages backwards and forwards, rather than making 1 quick phone call...


And what do I do with those 5 hours????


Practice not being busy...

 

What makes you happy?

Think back to the last time you were really happy. What were you doing? How did it feel? And arguably most importantly when was that?

Surprisingly many of us will need to head all the way back to our childhood to find really unadulterated happiness, days where we got to do pretty much what we wanted (within our childlike worlds), and enjoyed it.

So how come we might find this difficult as adults? 

There seems to be an assumption amongst us adults that happiness is finite, and something we aim for. Or else it is attached to achieving something like a promotion or getting something like a new car. But do those things really make you 'happy' or is happiness about an awareness of simple pleasures?

To compound this lack of awareness we also seem to feel guilty about expressing our happiness, in case we jinx it. Far better to let people know how 'busy' we are. 

So how come we can be busy all of the time but we can't be happy all of the time?

So if you are up for the challenge to find a happier you- follow the steps below...

The first step: identify things in the present that make you happy. 
The second step: do those things more often
The third step: be happier more often
The fourth step: tell someone you are happy..... you won't jinx it... honest!!! 

What 10 things do you do well?

We are generally very good at knowing what we need to do better but very very bad at being able to say we do something  well..  

"I should do more exercise." 

"I could communicate more." 

"I need to get better at time management." 

"I should work on my presentation skills."

"I need/ should...... (add your own in here!!!)

It is time to put a different perspective on it. After all you didn't get to the ripe old age of (add here whatever age you feel like being), without managing to do some things well.... the tricky part is being able to remember what they are.

So grab that coffee, find somewhere quiet and write down/think of 10 things you do well.... just 10.....

Oh and fight the temptation to be glib..... so..... 'I am good at being on facebook' doesn't count.... but... 'I am good at keeping in touch with people' does!!! 

The reality is that remembering and stating what we are good at is much harder than it sounds. We spend most of our time in the pursuit of improvement- which is great- but if we can't acknowledge our real skills and achievements we risk devaluing the 'improvements' we made in the past and who we are right now in the present. 

So yes, head off into the great future of improving and improvement, but remember the present has a pretty amazing person in it who is good at doing at least 10 things.... and might be astonishingly good at 1 thing... if they had the guts to admit it.....

                    

Just because the phone rings, pings or bongs doesn't mean you need to answer it...

How many times today have you answered the phone when you were in the middle of something?

....in other words how many times did you allow a piece of noisy plastic to interrupt you?
   

In the last decade we have not only redesigned the phone but we have changed the rules associated with phone use. Or have we.......

For most of us the phone, not us, is in control.

It interrupts us and we respond. It decides when we need to stop doing what we were doing and what we should do next. It decides that the person on the other end of it is more important than the person sitting next to us when we are out for dinner. It decides that the customer in the queue takes second place to the one on the phone. It decides that doing a puzzle with your child can happen while you chat with someone else, that their time is less important.

Is that really what we want from a noisy piece of plastic? For the sake of our sanity, our ability to finish a task, our relationships and our parenting it is time to wrench back control.... to beat our addiction....

So..... the next time the phone rings...... brace yourself... take control.... and leave it alone.... 

Real Role Models... and why we need to engage with them.

This might be harder than you think.... 


Turn off the electronic stuff, find somewhere quiet and spend 15mins with no interruptions thinking about the people you actually know who you respect and look up to.


So no historical figures, no famous people, no sports stars.... (unless you know some)

What is it about them you respect? What do they do that you admire? What do they stand for that you believe is worthwhile?


And while you ponder this think about how much time you have spent thinking about 'famous' role models (or the media version of those role models) and their relationships, their influence on our children, the dress they wore or the tweets they did.... how many magazines you have flicked through in search of the latest news of people you don't know who you are never likely to meet.

Our communities, families and neighbourhoods are full of people who may not have worn a designer dress on a red carpet or kicked the winning goal but who we can respect and look up to. We may or may not have met them yet, or invested time in getting to know them and maybe unsure about how to, but they are there.

Real people make real role models for ourselves and our children and it is time for us to recognise that and spend more time focusing on them. 

... you never know you are probably one too....