Breaking out of the 'should' prison....

It is really easy to create a list of things that we 'should' do..... in fact most of us will have one to hand instantly... and right now might even be feeling guilty about not doing something on the 'should' list...

I should go for a run....
I should just tidy the.....
I should keep in touch better.....
etc etc

It is great that you can see how a change can make a difference to your life and that you in fact have thought about a change....

but.... how much of that change is something that you own? How many of the things on your 'should' list do you actually 'want' to do?

We are constantly bombarded with expectations, our own, our friends and family, workplace, and societal expectations.... but we rarely effectively filter them and this creates our 'should' list and can lead to a sense of 

• not having enough time to do everything we think we should
• guilt that things are not getting done
• not being good enough
• not keeping up with everyone else who in our mind does everything on the should list

Frequently it can be as simple as changing the filter from 'should' to 'want'........

So ask yourself out of the 'should' list at the moment... what do you actually want to do and question the validity of the request??? 

Here is an example of part of a coaching conversation which happens frequently.....


Coachee...... "I should run more......  
Me..... "Why do you want to run?   .... 
Coachee.... "For exercise and because it is good for me"
Me..... "But do you want to go for a run"
Coachee.... "No, I hate running."
Me.. "Then what exercise would you rather do instead?"
Coachee.... "Walking, I quite like walking"...
Me... "So walk."


So go on.... try it with your should list....

• Pick something you 'should' do
• Ask yourself what the purported benefit to you is- health, fitness, friendship, enjoyment...
• Ask yourself if you value that benefit- do you actually want to do it?
• Make it an achievable thing that you enjoy....
• And enjoy doing it!!!!!

Now I am off to do something I really want to do...... enjoy doing something you really want to too....